| Word of the Week Appetitus-Gianormis (a big eater), also see Breastacles created by me and listed on Urban Dictionary |
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It's
,
what's your excuse?
"The actions of those in power have enormous consequences--a price that they themselves almost never have to pay." The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama |
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When the cop asked me if I knew why he pulled me over I told him "no I don't but I own underwear your age." Incredible, she still wrote me a ticket. A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks to see her license. She replied, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Yesterday you take away my license and today you expect me to show it to you." A 94 year old man was arrested for soliciting a hooker. This is what happens when Medicare covers Viagra The Mars Lander found Ice and Salt on Mars and is now searching for Tequila The government of China banned restaurants from serving Dog meat during the Olympics bringing new meaning to the phrase "hello kitty" Starbucks is closing 600 stores which means some of you may have to walk across the street to the other Starbucks for a cup of coffee A little bit of bad news from the Olympics this morning, all of the Gold Medals awarded thus far have tested positive for lead One in seven Americans do not own a cell phone. They're the same people driving in their own lane In a recent survey 56% of women said they'd rather be smarter than slimmer. The other 44% were models and didn't understand the question In Los Angels, scientists say high levels of lead in the air killed 176 people last year....news flash, they're called bullets |
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decease was
corrected before I had a
fatal heart attack which was only hours away according
to the attending physician. I figured they'd send me
home until the surgery. "You don't understand" the
Doctor told me, "we
need to keep you alive until than." I spent
the remaining hours until surgery on a Nitro intervenes drip
with nurses ready to push the Morphine on request.
Everybody should have a friend like Freddie
"The Pig" Bear!